I cry a lot because I miss people. They die and I can’t stop them. They leave me and I love them more.
So therefore I dedicate myself to myself, to my art, to my sleep, my dreams, my labours, my sufferances, my loneliness, my unique madness, my endless absorption and hunger—because I cannot dedicate myself to a fellow being.
The ultimate happiness in life is the conviction that one is loved; loved for oneself—better still, loved in spite of oneself.
You’re up on your beautiful Appaloosa stallion.
It’s a fine spring day.
We’re riding through the woods.
The bluebells are all out, and the sky is clear-blue.
Looking back over a lifetime, you see that love was the answer to everything.
It’s a strange thing, how you can love somebody, how you can be all eaten up inside with needing them—and they simply don’t need you. That’s all there is to it, and neither of you can do anything about it. And they’ll be the same way with someone else, and someone else will be the same way about you and it goes on and on—this desperate need—and only once in a rare million do the same two people need each other.
There’s a reason I said I’d be happy alone. It wasn’t ‘cause I thought I’d be happy alone. It was because I thought if I loved someone and then it fell apart, I might not make it. It’s easier to be alone. Because what if you learn you need love and then you don’t have it? What if you like it and lean on it? What if you shape your life on it and then it falls apart? Can you even survive that kind of pain? Losing love is like organ damage. It’s like dying. The only difference is, death ends. This, it can go on forever.
You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect - you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there.